2003: a Denver-area electronics reviewer is found dead in his apartment, his body covered in unidentifiable bite marks. His files indicate he was working on an article entitled “Which A/V Cable Brand Is Most Overrated?”
2004: the bodies of all four members of MonsterJamz, a Manhattan, Kansas-based funk-rock band, are found partially eaten at their practice space. Scientists cannot determine what kind of animal ate them.
2006: bits of skin, hair, and clothing found in a cave near Burlington, vermont are identified as belonging to Alan Creeley, 57. The previous day, Creeley had attempted to return several Monster cables to an area Best Buy store. Witness report him telling the salesperson that the cables were “utter crap” and that “it ought to be illegal to charge that much for this garbage.” The salesperson refuses to speak to police or the media, and later moves away from the area. Animal-like footprints found around the cave remain unidentified.
2008: IBM buys a pack of Monster 7-foot USB cables. Featuring gold connectors and blinking LED PowerFlow indicators, the cables are the subject of heated discussion and debate on the site’s message boards. Within days, several of the most vocal contributors to the discussion go missing.
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